Though I have fairly robust measures in place to deal with comment spam, I still see a few comments a day that make it into the spam review queue, including some that show the raw synonym blocks they use to try to get around the filters. I rarely read them, but a few of late have caught my attention, so I thought I would respond in a similar style.

Dear {Comment Spammer|Asshat|Scum},

Wow, {you are|you’re} {very|extremely|incredibly} {persistent|dedicated|amusing} in your {attempts|quest} to post {comments|ads|spam} to my blog. {Undeniably|Unquestionably|Definitely} you have {few|no} other {skills|talents|things to do} in your {pathetic|sad|dreary} life. The {simplest|easiest|smartest} thing you {could|should} do is get a {real|legitimate} job and stop {polluting|messing up} the {Internet|web|’net} with your {crap|spam}.

{Alternatively|Instead} you {could|should} simply {drop dead|FOAD} and make {everyone|the world|the Internet} a {happier|shinier|better|much improved} place.

{Sincerely|Regards|Best wishes|Hugs and kisses},

gordon